You're Kicking Me Smalls — Life in my lane

I’m not sure if I waited to finally sit down and write this blog because I was hoping to write one about raising a daughter or if I truly have been too busy and overwhelmed with everything else going on - but either way, here it is: we are having another boy! The blessing that he already is in our lives is insurmountable and I will forever cherish the miracle that he is to me. I know that God has an amazing plan already laid of for this life I am carrying and I am honored to entrusted as his mom!

This blogging journey was to initially share what I learned about disappointment in the waiting and I would be lying if I denied the disappointment knowing I won’t have a daughter of my own. So - here is the next lesson I learned on disappointment: If we are constantly looking for perfection, we are going to miss the purpose.

While we were trying to conceive - I can not count how many times I heard “God’s timing is perfect.” At first it was comforting, but as the years wore on - the timing seemed less and less perfect. I will never forget the first time we went to visit Mike’s Nan after my endometriosis surgery. She looked at me (clueless that we were seeking medical help and that I just had this surgery) and smiled and said “you are going to have a baby.” Shock ran through my body as I tried to comprehend what she had just said (her dementia had her saying all types of crazy things) but it was clear as day. I thought, this surgery will work. I had renewed hope. A month later she passed away and two months after that we stopped trying. If I were to pick my perfect timing - I would have gotten pregnant sooner and been able to tell her that she was right and share with her the joy. BUT - God doesn’t promise us ‘our perfect’. He does however promise a purpose. If we are so devastated and fixated on the lack of perfection - it will be so easy to miss the purpose. Am I disappointed that I won’t have a daughter of my own - did I have my hopes up? Yes - absolutely but it won’

So I encourage each of you to put down the ideas of perfection, glance around your beautiful mess and smile because hidden among it is some of the greatest treasures and most valuable purposes.

The gender reveal

We decided to go with a Sandlot movie theme to reveal the gender. We love the movie and we are easily considered a baseball family! While I was secretly (ok maybe not secretly) hoping to get a little pink onesie that said “she’s gonna play ball like a girl” - our Nathan was most thrilled to announce to everyone that we were having another boy! We went back to the ballpark where we took pictures on our wedding day (Yes, I ran around a baseball field in my wedding dress- one of my favorite memories of our day!) to share the news. I got myself a cute ‘you’re kicking me smalls’ t-shirt and purchased gender reveal baseballs! We let both boys smash one - which was the highlight of the evening for them!